“Whether they realized it or not, the actions of those who loved us in our youth are often more valuable than the written words of any ancient philosopher.” — Phil Van Treuren
Family was, without a doubt, an important element in the lives of the ancient Stoic philosophers. While Stoicism teaches that we shouldn’t become too attached to people and that we should remember everyone can be taken from us, it also stresses that kinship with others — and loving and providing for our family — are some of the greatest virtues.
There are many terrific quotes from the Stoics about family; whether it’s about children, parents, siblings, or spouses. The love between a husband and wife — and the love they, in turn, show their children — are, in fact, strengthened by the teachings you’ll find in Stoic philosophy. Stoicism accentuates positive emotions, and family should be a source of that.
Don’t fall for the misconceptions about Stoicism that say it’s a philosophy that requires you to lose all emotion and caring for others. It doesn’t at all! Instead, it calls on us to remove bad emotions like anger, hatred and fear, while accentuating love, understanding and joy. When dealing with your family most of all, that’s a concept you should keep in mind.
Stoic Quotes on Family from Marcus Aurelius
“To the gods I am indebted for having good grandfathers, good parents, a good sister, good teachers, good associates, good kinsmen and friends, nearly everything good.”
“How hast thou carried thyself hitherto towards the Gods? towards thy parents? towards thy brethren? towards thy wife? towards thy children? towards thy masters? thy foster-fathers? thy friends? thy domestics? thy servants? Is it so with thee, that hitherto thou hast neither by word or deed wronged any of them? Remember withal through how many things thou hast already passed, and how many thou hast been able to endure; so that now the legend of thy life is full, and thy charge is accomplished.”
“If I and my two children cannot move the gods, the gods must have their reasons.“
Stoic Quotes on Family from Epictetus
“Our duties naturally emerge from such fundamental relations as our families, neighborhoods, workplaces, our state or nation. Make it your regular habit to consider your roles-parent, child, neighbor, citizen, leader-and the natural duties that arise from them. Once you know who you are and to whom you are linked, you will know what to do.”
“Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant.“
“Who is not attracted by bright and pleasant children, to prattle, to creep, and to play with them?”
Stoic Quotes on Family from Seneca
“Such is more or less the way of the wise man: he retires to his inner self, is his own company. So long in fact as he remains in a position to order his affairs according to his own judgement, he remains self-content even when he marries, even when he brings up his children.”
“We like to say that we don’t get to choose our parents, that they were given by chance—yet we can truly choose whose children we’d like to be.“
“So with our children, their growing up brings wider fruits but their infancy was sweeter.“