What exactly did the ancient Stoics think about marriage? It’s true, there isn’t a huge amount of quotes to find from them specifically about marriage, although there are plenty about love, relationships and caring for people in our lives. It’s worth keeping in mind that marriage during the time of Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca was a very different institution than it is today.
For the ancient Stoics, one of the most important ways to have a good marriage was to be understanding of our spouses, and to remember that we aren’t in control of how long they might be with us (and that they could be taken by us because of fate, their own choice, and even death). Responding with love to even their shortcomings was a big lesson from the Stoics about marriage.
These quotes focus less on marriage and more on love and relationships, but they can still be applied to the dynamics you have with your spouse today. Stoicism teaches to have understanding for others and to accept what you can’t control, and that’s a great lesson for any type of marriage, husband or wife.
Stoic Quotes on Marriage from Marcus Aurelius
“Love is beautiful, and that a man and a woman loving each other should live together is the will of God, but if there comes a time when they can not live in peace, let them part. To have no relationship is not a disgrace; to have wrong relations is, for disgrace means lack of grace, discord, and love is harmony.“
“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.”
“Not to display anger or other emotions. To be free of passion and yet full of love.“
Stoic Quotes on Marriage from Epictetus
“If you want your children and wife and friends to live forever, you’re a fool, because you’re wanting things that aren’t within your power to be within your power, and the things that aren’t your own to be your own.”
“Whoever then understands what is good, can also know how to love; but he who cannot distinguish good from bad, and things which are neither good nor bad from both, can he possess the power of loving? To love, then, is only in the power of the wise.”
Stoic Quotes on Marriage from Seneca
“Whoever then understands what is good, can also know how to love; but he who cannot distinguish good from bad, and things which are neither good nor bad from both, can he possess the power of loving? To love, then, is only in the power of the wise.”
“Nature bore us related to one another . . . She instilled in us a mutual love and made us compatible . . . Let us hold everything in common; we stem from a common source. Our fellowship is very similar to an arch of stones, which would fall apart, if they did not reciprocally support each other.“
“Joy comes to us from those whom we love even when they are absent. When present, seeing them and associating intimately with them yields real pleasure.”