by Enda Harte
In all your actions, words, and thoughts, be aware that it is possible that you – and by extension the ones you love most dearly – may depart from life at any time.
Marcus Aurelius
When we think about death and our own mortality we experience a range of emotions. And, most likely if you haven’t developed the psychological ability and practice of acceptance and equanimity for these subjects, you might consider the mere thought of death to be quite frightening.
It may seem perfectly rational to have these thoughts and experiences if they ever cross your mind, yet within the Philosophy of Stoicism, this would generally be considered irrational to fear and succumb to emotions of events that are inevitable. Death is part of the human condition. From the second you are received in the living world, the clock is ticking.
So, how will you ultimately use your time? What will you try and accomplish with your life? Can you accept that the lives of you, and those around you are impermanent, and do so with good spirit and use it as a motivator for living better?
What Stoicism Teaches About Death
Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day… The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.
Seneca the Younger, Moral Letters
The positive news from my introduction is that you or I weren’t the first, or indeed the last to think of death and mortality. The Ancient Egyptians were focused on the afterlife, in fact, they were in constant preparation for it. The Ancient Greeks and Romans also had deep rooted traditions for dealing with death. This is where we’re landing on today, the Stoic Philosophers from this period had a unique perspective that was rooted in the belief that we should be focusing on the things that are within our control with a mindset of equanimity. Death is one of those things not in our sphere of control and therefore, should not be feared.
For the early Stoics, death was a natural part of life, and seen as a process, a return to the universal source of all things. It’s the cycle of life we could say. The Roman era Stoic Epictetus said that ‘Death is nothing terrible, for it were; it would have seemed so to Socrates (The Godfather of Ancient Philosophy) but the terror comes from our notion of death, that makes it seems so.’
For Philosophers and Schools alike, it was the living part of our life that was important, regardless of how much time we have at our disposal. To them your condition, state of health and wealth didn’t ultimately matter. As a life of virtue was important and the uppermost important thing. Virtues to the Stoics were living a life courageously, with knowledge and wisdom at the heart of everything you do.
Plus, focusing on self-control in every aspect of your life, all whilst keeping up with areas of social justice within your local and wider communities. There was no time for fearing death if you had living to be getting on with.
Three Stoic Methods to Face Death
Wouldn’t a man seem to you the greatest of all fools, if he wept because for a thousand years previously, he had not been alive? He’s just as great a fool if he weeps because he won’t live for a thousand years to come.
Seneca the Younger, Epistle
Well there’s no easy way to approach this subject, it’s going to take a significant amount of practice and study to achieve equanimity. From personal experience, I have found writing about and addressing my past fears head-on have been successful in quelling my irrational thoughts. The pieces of advice that I’ll list below are for people who are not currently going through a recent period of grief, or psychological turmoil. Please seek professional assistance for issues beyond your own control.
1. A Memento Mori
An ancient reminder from the Romans that you are only mortal. If you have this in mind you know your time is finite, and that a moment should not be wasted on a fear of the inevitable. Physical reminders are a useful aid. I carry a minted coin with me every day that reminds me of this. It’s a good way to tame your ego also, just like the slaves that whispered this phrase to the victorious Generals being paraded through the streets of Rome.
We all end up with the same fate in the end. Marcus Aurelis the Philosopher king reminds us in his meditations about the infamous Alexander the Great and his servant;
“He and his mule driver both died and the same thing happened to both. They were absorbed alike into the life force of the world, or dissolved alike into atoms.”
You can also remind yourself of memento mori through meditation, or writing in a journal. It’s crucial not to focus too much energy on these thoughts, for instance a fleeting glance at a painting in my office is enough to motivate me.
2. The Non-Existence & Symmetry Argument
This is a psychological thought rooted in CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and indeed relates to Stoicism. A paper from Rachel Menzies and Lachlan White illustrate the notion that many people experience death anxiety, and this can come from the fear that they will no longer have the capacity to think, feel or experience living. It’s the unknown.
The Ancient Stoics and Epicureans (a rival school to the Stoics) propose that the opposite argument, that non-existence is nothing to fear, because we have experienced it- before our birth. The Roman Stoic Seneca from the quote above shared this notion, that it’s irrational to fear something we, in a way, already know.
Epicurus of Samos is known to have said something like this about the experience of life:
“Death is nothing to us. When we exist, death is not; and when death exists, we are not. All sensation and consciousness ends with death and therefore in death there is neither pleasure nor pain. The fear of death arises from the belief that in death, there is awareness.”
3. Negative Visualization
A useful way to prevent this sense of irrational surprise at life’s ‘misfortunes’. This falls under the ancient practice of Premeditatio Malorum (the premeditation of evils). Whereby, imagining that something bad has happened to you before it dawns on your doorstep, can aid in taking the sting out of said event. It is a technique that can be used for many areas of your life. People use it to imagine setbacks, overcome past hardships, and even to not become reliant on possessions.
In regards to death and mortality, as the title suggests it involves reinforcing the fact that you and your loved ones will perish, a form of preparation. In modern times, it acts as a form of exposure therapy which has been proven to decrease death anxiety. While the idea of constantly reminding oneself of death may seem grim, it can actually help cultivate acceptance of mortality and encourage reflections of gratitude for the time we do have with loved ones available.
The Stoics would remind us to keep the possibility of death close to us, like above, when I mentioned a memento mori. The author Donald Robertson agrees with recent psychological research that people who are able to accept unpleasant thoughts and feelings, without being overwhelmed by them, are more resilient than people who try to distract themselves or avoid such experiences, through strategies such as positive thinking.
A Final Word About Stoic Beliefs & Dealing with Death
As I’ve always said at the end of any of my writings on death, we must remember to live – memento vivere as the ancients would say. The reason we contemplate death is to bring out the best in us, and to appreciate the natural world around us. Do not let this consume you, and if you still fear the notion step away from the above mentioned and return to your practice when you feel different. Over time things become gradually less alarming. Trust me.
You know the phrase, stop and smell the roses? Why don’t you actually do it? Take a minute out and appreciate something or someone in your life today. That’s the minimum we can do.
Until next time,
memento mori.
Enda Harte is an Irish born music management consultant and A&R for a variety of companies and artists globally. In his free hours he dedicates his time to writing and learning about Hellenistic Philosophies. You can see more of his writing on Stoicism at The Irish Stoic.