“We don’t like to admit it, but there’s a small part inside all of us that still feels like a child, confused by the world and unsure how to act. That part of us wants to do the right thing, but hasn’t yet learned what the right thing is.” — Phil Van Treuren
There’s an unfortunate mischaracterization of Stoic philosophy that has recently sprung up that implies that Stoicism cares more about overcoming our feelings than it does about showing kindness to others. The truth is that a true Stoic believes that human beings who want to practice virtue must consider how to incorporate kindness into their dealings with other people.
There are many quotes from ancient Stoic philosophers about kindness, because they understood that it’s only by helping each other — and showing empathy for other people’s struggles and shortcomings — that we can truly reach the potential that’s in all of us. Showing kindness isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength.
In fact, being kind to another person is sometimes even more difficult than the opposite. Stoics believe that we should even show kindness (as much as possible) to those who are rude to us or who we feel aversion toward. Stoicism teaches that every person is doing what they think is the right thing, and finding empathy for the struggles of others is only showing the same courtesy that we all would hope for in return.
Stoic Quotes on Kindness from Marcus Aurelius
“Kindness is unconquerable, so long as it is without flattery or hypocrisy.”
“And when you do become angry, be ready to apply this thought, that to fly into a passion is not a sign of manliness, but rather, to be kind and gentle.”
“Man is born for deeds of kindness.”
“Does perfect beauty stand in need of praise at all? No more than law, no more than truth, no more than loving kindness, nor than modesty.”
Stoic Quotes on Kindness from Epictetus
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
“It is not a demonstration of kindness or friendship to the people we care about to join them in indulging in wrongheaded, negative feelings. We do a better service to ourselves and others by remaining detached and avoiding melodramatic reactions.”
“Everything has two handles; the one soft and manageable, the other such as will not endure to be touched. If then your brother do you an injury, do not take it by the hot hard handle, by representing to yourself all the aggravating circumstances of the fact; but look rather on the soft side, and extenuate it as much as is possible, by considering the nearness of the relation, and the long friendship and familiarity between you–obligations to kindness which a single provocation ought not to dissolve. And thus you will take the accident by its manageable handle.”
Stoic Quotes on Kindness from Seneca
“He is ungrateful who denies that he has received a kindness which has been bestowed upon him; he is ungrateful who conceals it; he is ungrateful who makes no return for it; most ungrateful of all is he who forgets it.”
“I had rather never receive a kindness than never bestow one.”
“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.”